Mixed emotions..

It was a cold night. Even with her woollen coat and the heating on full blast, she was freezing in her car. Or maybe, it was her emotions, maybe she was just nervous.She had been struggling with her thoughts for the last two days. She had swayed back and forth and even now she wasn't sure of her decision. What if she was making a mistake? After all, she was only looking for an escape for a short time. Its not like she was unhappy, at least not in the true sense. She was just bored. Didn't she deserve some excitement or was this it?

It wasn't always like this. There used to be excitement, thrill, the joy of new beginnings but 20 years down the road, life had become dull. She couldn't remember the last time, she had felt butterflies in her stomach. But, two nights ago, when she received that phone call, she felt like a teenager again. Giggling, her heart beat faster and she loved it. Those were the feelings that were driving her there.

YES, she deserved this! And it wasn't like she was hurting him. What he didn't know, couldn't hurt him. She didn't want to hurt him, he was a good man, flawed like all, still one of the finest men she knew. And she wasn't doing anything wrong, then why was she hiding this from him? How would she feel, if the roles had been reversed? What if something more happened? Not just the wine, the dinner and the giggling but more.... There was the possibility.

Was she one of those women who could be casual? What if she could never go back to her own life? Was that excitement worth it? Would life ever be the same?

As she took the next exit and headed back home, she knew she didn't want to change her life. Not in that way. And after all these years, she felt excited, the thrill, butterflies in her stomach, driving faster to get home, to him.